“Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty, sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with.”
Carrie Bradshaw, Sex and the City
Seeing your friends in love can be hard.
Deep down, no matter how independent, most girls do want to be completely, madly and deeply in love with someone. I know for me, it’s been a long 22 years of being single, and while I genuinely love it, there are also times where I want to cuddle someone and hold their hand. When that pang of desire hits, it can be easy to feel lonely and settle for second best for want of companionship. But rather than taking the easy route, I realize instead that while there are many joys of being in a relationship, there are also many great joys of being single. Here are 12 reasons why being single is wonderful:
1. You are Miss Independent. I think one of the best things about being single is having the freedom to be your own boss. There is something incredibly impressive and inspiring about a woman who does not need a man to do anything for her. The girl that works and pays for her own things, carries her own bags, and looks after her mind, body and soul for herself and not for anybody else. When you are single and independent, you show a man that you can take care of yourself – and that is attractive.
2. You can step out of your comfort zone. When you have a significant other, it’s natural to do everything together. But being single is a chance to step out of what’s comfortable and try new things… by yourself. Take the opportunity to solo travel, do a fitness class, embark on a business venture or even eat out by yourself. It may seem daunting and awkward at first, but I promise that after a while, it will feel like second nature. You will learn so much about who you are and the world around you when you decide to step out of your comfort zone and leap into the unknown, especially when you jump by yourself.
3. You have more time to spend with your girlfriends. It’s true what they say – boys come and go, but friends are forever. Use your single status to build and nurture your friendships without the stress of having to split your time between your boyfriend and your friends. Honestly, there is nothing like strong female friendships when you are going through a storm in life. Where you invest your love, you invest your life.
4. You are more free to experiment with yourself. You can dye your hair whatever color you like or change up your fashion whenever you like. This is not to say that people in relationships can’t, but sometimes being in a relationship can make you more focused on impressing your man than being unique. You have no boundaries, so experiment to your heart’s content!
5. You don’t have to worry about compromise. Want to try out that new cafe? Want to watch that chick flick? Want to see that band play live? The answer is you can, you can, and you can – whenever you like, without having to check in with your boyfriend. You have the complete freedom to do whatever you desire on your terms and on your own timing. Embrace it!
6. You can focus more on your dreams. Not to say that women in relationships can’t, but single woman have more time and energy on their hands to pursue their dreams with full force and passion: you are not emotionally involved with a partner and have more physical and emotional energy to put into fulfilling your dreams; you have more freedom to do it when and how you like it; and the best reason is all the time you have. Take advantage of it and use this time to make your dreams come true.
7. You can explore different ice-cream flavors. Being single is a great opportunity to explore what you really want in a future boyfriend by getting out there and meeting different men. Every man has something you can learn from. In this way, you will have a better understanding of your needs and wants in a man. Be open and fun – who knows, you might even end up like someone completely different to your previous expectations!
8. You can learn more about yourself. It’s never to late to learn more about yourself and accept all of it – perfections, flaws and all. You need to learn how to be comfortable with yourself, and then learn how to be alone with yourself. It’s important and liberating to be able to enjoy your own company. It’s sad when I see girls jumping from relationship to relationship without taking the time to understand who they are first. Eventually, those girls lose who they are in the process because they don’t have a strong sense of self. Be the kind of girl who accepts and loves herself first before letting anyone else accept and love her later.
9. You have more money to spend on other things. Being in a relationship can be expensive. Birthdays, dates, Valentine’s day, anniversarys… the list can go on. Think of being single as an excuse to spend your money on other things. Buy gifts for friends or pamper and treat yourself, because you deserve it as much as anyone else.
10. You have more free time to do the things you love. Do more of what you enjoy. Wether it is playing sports, making art, dancing, taking photos or just even being at the gym – now is the time to enjoy your hobbies without any distractions, guilt or time restrictions.
11. You can practice more self-love. I think being single is the absolute best time to start loving yourself. Use this time to nurture your mind, body and soul to be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. It just happens to be a bonus that when someone comes along, you will be so assured and confident in yourself that you won’t settle for any less than the best. You can see all the ways you can love yourself here.
12. You can dedicate yourself to getting lost in God’s heart. You know how girls just glow with happiness when they are in love? You can have that, without having to find a man to fall in love with. There is simply nothing better than being in love with and being loved by the One who will never hurt you, never disappoint you and never leave your side throughout it all. There’s an saying by Max Lucado that it seemed every Christian girl use to quote: “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” Being single means that you can dedicate more of your time to fall in love with God, and in be romanced by Him. God is enthralled by your beauty and your heart, and the revelation of that as life goes on is the one of best adventures you can ever go on – trust me.
“To whom it may concern, Good love will find you someday. But if you keep on looking for it, it’ll only keep you waiting. To whom it may concern, Good love will find you someday. Til’ then, live well, live happy, live free.”