How Do You Perceive Yourself?

The Lilac Road Blog Damaris Goddrie by Walter Perre for Vogue Netherlands September 2019

Our self-perception determines our behavior. If we think we’re small, limited, inadequate creatures, then we tend to behave that way, and the energy we radiate reflects those thoughts no matter what we do. If we think we’re magnificent creatures with an infinite abundance of love and power to give, then we tend to behave that way.
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

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This Beautiful Life

The Lilac Road Blog Woman In White Sun Dress Lying In Bed

Here is how I spend my days now. I live in a beautiful place. I sleep in a beautiful bed. I eat beautiful food. I go for walks through beautiful places. I care for people deeply. At night my bed is full of love, because I alone am in it. I cry easily, from pain and pleasure, and I don’t apologize for that. In the mornings I step outside and I’m thankful for another day. It took me many years to arrive at such a life.
Ottessa Moshfegh

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True Self-Esteem

The Lilac Road Blog Forest Memories Celia Jacobs Painting Woman Lying Sleeping Contently In Hammock

How one treats one’s body and psyche speaks volumes about one’s self-esteem: abusing body or soul with harmful chemicals, behaviors, work overload, lack of personal time and space all denote poor self-regard. All of these behaviors and attitudes reveal a fundamental stance towards the self that is conditional and devoid of true self respect. Self-esteem based on achievement has been called contingent self-esteem or acquired self-esteem. Unlike contingent self-esteem, true self-esteem has nothing to do with a self-evaluation on the basis of achievement or the lack of it. A person truly comfortable in his own skin doesn’t say, ‘I am a worthy human being because I can do such and such,’ but says, ‘I am a worthy human being whether or not I can do such and such.’ Contingent self-esteem evaluates; true self-esteem accepts.
Gabor Maté, Scattered

Painting by Celia Jacobs

Let Fear Make You Brave

The Lilac Road Blog Close-Up Woman's Face Gold Freckles

When has shrinking ourselves because of fear helped us? It has never helped. Fear is an emotion that should visit and when it leaves, it should make you brave. It should make you want to do more, create more and learn more. Fear is normal but when we let fear stay too long, it paralyzes us.
Lara Witt, from “Decolonizing Poetry: an interview with Ijeoma Umebinyuo.

Photo via Clem-Style