Honor And Respect Your Feelings And Needs

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Boundaries are not selfish. They aren’t overindulgent or evidence that you’re too sensitive, and they aren’t weakness. Boundaries are conditions that allow you to take care of yourself; conditions that give you the means to survive and keep from sinking. They’re circumstances that honor your needs and respect your feelings. Limits that YOU get to decide on; limits that are inherently valid, regardless of how they compare to anyone else’s.

You deserve to create a space for yourself that feels safe and supportive. You deserve to exist under terms that don’t harm you; terms that allow your best self to come through. Even if other people don’t understand, even if it makes them feel angry or rejected or sad — your boundaries are necessary and they matter. Their needs matter too, and its not wrong to want to make shifts to accommodate both — but the truth is that you can’t take care of anyone else if your own needs aren’t being met. You don’t have to explain your boundaries. You don’t have to justify them, and you don’t need anyone’s approval. You need to believe that you’re someone worth taking care of, and you need to trust that if anyone is entitled to your protection and care, it’s you.
Daniell Koepke

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Understanding Anxiety Attacks

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Anxiety attacks are episodes of intense panic or fear. Anxiety attacks usually occur suddenly and without warning. Sometimes there’s an obvious trigger— getting stuck in an elevator, for example, or thinking about the big speech you have to give—but in other cases, the attacks come out of the blue.

Anxiety attacks usually peak within ten minutes, and they rarely last more than thirty minutes. But during that short time, the terror can be so severe that you feel as if you’re about to die or totally lose control. The physical symptoms of anxiety attacks are themselves so frightening that many people believe they’re having a heart attack.

Symptoms of anxiety attacks include:
· Surge of overwhelming panic
· Feeling of losing control or going crazy
· Heart palpitations or chest pain
· Feeling like you’re going to pass out
· Trouble breathing or choking sensation
· Hyperventilation
· Hot flashes or chills
· Trembling or shaking
· Nausea or stomach cramps
· Feeling detached or unreal

Self-help for anxiety attacks and anxiety disorders #1: Challenge negative thoughts
· Write down your worries. Keep a pad and pencil on you or type on a laptop, smartphone, or tablet. When you experience anxiety, write down your worries. Writing down is harder work than simply thinking them, so your negative thoughts are likely to disappear sooner.
· Create an anxiety worry period. Choose one or two 10 minute “worry periods” each day, time you can devote to anxiety. During your worry period, focus only on negative, anxious thoughts without trying to correct them. The rest of the day, however, is to be designated free of anxiety. When anxious thoughts come into your head during the day, write them down and “postpone” them to your worry period.
· Accept uncertainty. Unfortunately, worrying about all the things that could go wrong doesn’t make life any more predictable—it only keeps you from enjoying the good things happening in the present. Learn to accept uncertainty and not require immediate solutions to life’s problems.

Self-help for anxiety attacks and anxiety disorders #2: Take care of yourself
· Practice relaxation techniques. When practiced regularly, relaxation techniques such as mindfulness meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, and deep breathing can reduce anxiety symptoms and increase feelings of relaxation and emotional well-being.
· Adopt healthy eating habits. Start the day right with breakfast, and continue with frequent small meals throughout the day. Going too long without eating leads to low blood sugar, which can make you feel more anxious.
· Reduce alcohol and nicotine. They lead to more anxiety, not less.
· Exercise regularly. Exercise is a natural stress buster and anxiety reliever. To achieve the maximum benefit, aim for at least 30 minutes of aerobic exercise on most days.
· Get enough sleep. A lack of sleep can exacerbate anxious thoughts and feelings, so try to get 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep a night.

Help Guide via Online Counselling College

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Enjoy What You Can

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It’s okay if you you don’t make the most out of every day.
Was the weather beautiful today and you didn’t enjoy it? That’s fine. Don’t worry about maximizing every single moment. Try to focus on enjoying what you can while making room for some positive experiences in your life. It’s okay if you miss a few opportunities in the process. The important thing is enjoying what you can and not worrying too much about what you miss.
How I Learned To Cope

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Tips For Becoming Mentally Strong

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1. Don’t fear being and doing things alone.

2. Keep your focus on the future, not the past.

3. Understand that things take time.

4. Be patient, and keep trying when things are difficult.

5. Don’t fear being judged or criticized by others.

6. Decide to be the author and creator of your life.

7. Don’t let other people determine what you do.

8. Let go of all the things you can’t control.

9. Learn to both accept, and manage, your emotions.

10. Take calculated risks, and do what’s new and different.

Online Counselling College

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Don’t Let Bitterness Change You For The Worse

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The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper.
Henri Nouwen

When other people treat you poorly keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.

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How To Support A Friend Who’s Depressed

You are safe with me.

1. Encourage them to talk; ask them what’s on their mind. If you think your friend’s depressed or has something on their mind then ask if you can help or if something’s bothering them. And unless you get the feeling that they don’t want to talk, be persistent and keep asking in a gentle, caring way. This communicates the message that you genuinely care.

2. Give your full attention and listen carefully. If they’re brave enough to share what is on their mind, then give them the respect of listening carefully without interrupting or offering them advice. Pay attention, focus on them, and try to understand the way they see their problems and how that makes them feel. The only time you should speak is to clarify a point or to ask open questions that will help them share some more.

3. Unless specifically requested, don’t offer them advice. Once you’ve got the general gist of what is happening with your friend, resist the temptation to offer them advice. This is often very hard as we usually want to help, but most people resent it as they just want to be heard.

4. Remember it’s all about them… it’s not about you. Often people want to somehow turn the conversation round to talking about them and their own experiences. This is so annoying; it’s the worst thing you could do.

5. Be sensitive, respectful and non-judgmental. Don’t react or seem shocked when they tell you something bad (like saying, “OMG – I can’t believe you did that!”). Be tactful if you feel you must share something tough, as you honestly believe it would help to hear the truth. You don’t have to destroy them in your efforts to get real.

6. Nothing changes if we don’t do anything. Although it’s often helpful to unburden yourself, if you just dump on others then nothing much will change. Thus, it’s important to encourage them to take some active steps. Don’t only be a crutch or a short term dumping ground.

Online Counselling College

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