Be Good To Those You Love

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When someone loves you – really loves you – treat them gently. Text your best friend back when you can. Tell your mother you noticed her haircut and that she was right about that recipe. Tell your grandfather that the boats in his bottles are the best things you’ve ever seen. Be good to the people who are good to you. It’s the least you can do.
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Tips For Listening Well

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1. Don’t interrupt. Let the speaker finish what they are saying – and at a speed that is comfortable for them – before formulating your own response.

2. Give the speaker your full and undivided attention. Ignore what is happening around you and block out distracting noises.

3. Pay attention to your own internal dialogue and don’t allow your mind to wander. This is not the time for you to be judging or mentally criticising the speaker or thinking about all the items on your to-do list for the day. Focus on what is being said, the tone of voice, and the body language of the speaker.

4. Pay attention to your own body language. Ask yourself: what kind of vibes am I giving off? What kind of message am I sending? The emphasis should be on looking and sounding concerned, interested, focused, accepting and genuine.

5. Be comfortable with silence. Often silence encourages the person to say more. Also, we don’t need to have an answer to every question or a solution to every problem. Most of the time it is presence and empathy that count the most.

6. Don’t get drawn into playing the game of “I have it so much worse than you; or my problem is bigger than yours.” In this situation, you are there for them. They are the focus and priority right now.

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Control Your Reactions

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Being jealous and insecure is okay. Demanding that your friend or partner stop seeing their other friends isn’t.
Wanting attention is okay. Demanding your friend or partners attention 24/7 isn’t.
Being angry is okay. Taking your anger out on innocent people isn’t.
We can’t control our feelings and we shouldn’t attempt to, but we can and should work to control our reactions to said feelings.
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How To Trust Again

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1. Recognize the benefits of trusting others and building meaningful relationships. If you never let others get close to you, then you’re likely to feel lonely and empty inside.

2. Remember that one person doesn’t have to meet your needs. We can trust different people with aspects of ourselves. Doing that can feel less risky and a lot less scary.

3. Look at the actions of other people before you decide if you can trust them or not. If they are kind to others and they seem reliable, then it’s likely they will treat you in that same way, too. However, be wary of people who are mean or critical, talk about others or are unpredictable.

4. Give trust slowly – let others prove themselves – and if they seem trustworthy then start to trust them more. Share a few small things before you share some bigger things.

5. Trust yourself to cope if someone lets you down. We’ve all been disappointed and betrayed by other people. Have the confidence to know that you will manage and survive.

6. Don’t pressurise yourself to give more than you are able. It’s hard to trust others if you’re feeling insecure, if you’ve been hurt by others or if trust is threatening. Decide to take it slowly and be patient with yourself.

Online Counselling College

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