How To Support A Depressed Friend

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1. Find out the kind of depression they are suffering from. Symptoms of clinical depression include sleep difficulties, loss of appetite, a desire to isolate themselves, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, suicidal tendencies and an inability to determine the cause of their depression. Those with situational depression may have some of the same symptoms but they generally know why they feel as they do, and once the issue is resolved, they are able to function normally again.

2. Be available to listen or just be there for them. Sometimes you don’t need to say a word. Don’t offer opinions or advice; don’t judge them; be patient and understanding; be empathetic, gentle and compassionate.

3. Take them out of their environment as a change of scenery can help to change their mood. It doesn’t have to be wildly exciting – just a walk by the river or a coffee at the mall is often enough to shift things a bit.

4. Don’t comment on their lifestyle (habits and patterns). Comments like “You ought to try and sleep more or change your diet or exercise more” are likely to shut the person down. These are often beyond the person’s control. They are symptoms of depression and not the actual cause.

5. Encourage your friend to seek professional help. A friend or family member can be a real lifeline but objective support from a professional counsellor can help them deal with the cause in a more effective way.

Online Counselling College

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Honor And Respect Your Feelings And Needs

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Boundaries are not selfish. They aren’t overindulgent or evidence that you’re too sensitive, and they aren’t weakness. Boundaries are conditions that allow you to take care of yourself; conditions that give you the means to survive and keep from sinking. They’re circumstances that honor your needs and respect your feelings. Limits that YOU get to decide on; limits that are inherently valid, regardless of how they compare to anyone else’s.

You deserve to create a space for yourself that feels safe and supportive. You deserve to exist under terms that don’t harm you; terms that allow your best self to come through. Even if other people don’t understand, even if it makes them feel angry or rejected or sad — your boundaries are necessary and they matter. Their needs matter too, and its not wrong to want to make shifts to accommodate both — but the truth is that you can’t take care of anyone else if your own needs aren’t being met. You don’t have to explain your boundaries. You don’t have to justify them, and you don’t need anyone’s approval. You need to believe that you’re someone worth taking care of, and you need to trust that if anyone is entitled to your protection and care, it’s you.
Daniell Koepke

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How To Stay Peaceful Around Stressed People

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When we’re around people who are stressed and negative it can upset our own sense of inner peace and calm. Here are some suggestions to help you with this:

1. Imagine there’s an invisible shield that separates you from them. See their attitudes, reactions and high expectations as being their choice and decision — they’re not a part of you. You are two separate people; don’t let them influence you.

2. Disconnect from the source of negativity. End the call, close your email or get up and walk away. When we feel stressed and angry we’re more likely to react – so maintain your control by taking steps to decompress.

3. Avoid toxic people if you possibly can. Avoid people who guilt trip you, are constantly complaining or who like to sit and wallow in their misery. They’ll quickly drain your energy and drive you to despair.

4. Be a positive person. Go on the offensive and reach out to people who need some encouragement, a smile or a kind word. That will keep you feeling peaceful and positive.

5. Spend time with people with whom you can connect, and who inspire and motivate you to be a better person. Look out for people who improve your self-esteem, who are positive role models and who live life to the full. They’ll broaden your capacity to give and grow as well. (Let them be your focus – and not the stressed out people!)

Online Counselling College

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Don’t Let Bitterness Change You For The Worse

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The more you have loved and have allowed yourself to suffer because of your love, the more you will be able to let your heart grow wider and deeper.
Henri Nouwen

When other people treat you poorly keep being you. Don’t ever let someone else’s bitterness change the person you are.
Unknown

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Let Go Of What You Can’t Change

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I think part of the reason why we hold on to something so tight is because we fear something so great won’t happen twice.
Unknown

If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.
Tony Baskin

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Don’t Take It Personally

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I learned the hard way that I cannot always count on others to respect my feelings – even if I respect theirs. Being a good person doesn’t guarantee that others will be good people. You only have control over yourself and how you choose to be as a person. As for others, you can only choose to accept them or walk away.
I Love Quotes

A huge amount of freedom comes when you take nothing personally.
Don Miguel Ruiz

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