12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

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It’s easy to make your relationships more complicated than they are. Here are twelve simple reminders to help you keep them on course.

1. All successful relationships require some work. They don’t just happen, or maintain themselves. They exist and thrive when the parties involved take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their minds and hearts. Open communication and honesty is the key.

2. Most of the time you get what you put in. If you want love, give love. If you want friends, be friendly. If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding. It’s a simple practice that works.

3. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in someone’s life. Never force someone to make a space in their life for you. If they know your worth, they will create time and space for you.

4. There is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you; some will teach you; some will threaten you; some will use you. Others will heal you, and help you see your strengths, and help you to discover your authentic self.

5. We all change, and that’s okay. Our needs change with time. When someone says, “You’ve changed,” it’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes it just means you stopped living your life their way. Don’t apologize for it. Instead, be open and sincere, explain how you feel, and keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

6. You are in full control of your own happiness. If your relationship with yourself isn’t working, don’t expect your other relationships to be any different. Nobody else in this world can make you happy. It’s something you have to do on your own. And you have to create your own happiness first before you can share it with someone else.

7. Forgiving others helps YOU. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

8. You can’t change people; they can only change themselves. Instead of trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example. If there’s a specific behavior someone you love has that you’re hoping disappears over time, it probably won’t. If you really need them to change something, be honest and put all the cards on the table so this person knows what you need them to do.

9. Heated arguments are a waste of time. The less time you spend arguing with the people who hurt you, the more time you’ll have to love the people who love you. And if you happen to find yourself arguing with someone you love, don’t let your anger get the best of you. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss the situation.

10. You are better off without some people. When you have to start compromising yourself and your morals for the people around you, it’s probably time to change the people around you. If someone continuously mistreats you or pushes you in the wrong direction, have enough respect for yourself to walk away from them. It may hurt for a little while, but it’ll be ok. You’ll be ok, and far better off in the long run.

11. Small gestures of kindness go a long way. Honor your important relationships in some way every chance you get.

12. Even the best relationships don’t last forever. People don’t live forever. Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you. You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.

Marc and Angel

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7 Simple Ways To Say No

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1. “I can’t commit to this as I have other priorities at the moment.” This lets the person know your plate is full at the moment.

2. “Now’s not a good time as I’m in the middle of something. How about we reconnect at X time?” This lets the person know it’s not a good time. However, you also convey your desire to help by suggesting another time (at your convenience). This way, the person doesn’t feel blown off.

3. “I’d love to do this, but …” This is a gentle way of saying no. It’s encouraging as it lets the person know you like the idea but I can’t take part due to other reasons, such as prior commitments.

4. “Let me think about it first and I’ll get back to you.” This is more like a “maybe” than a straight out “no”. If you are interested but you don’t want to say “yes” just yet, use this.

5. “This doesn’t fit with what I’m looking for now – but I’ll keep you in mind.” Sometimes it is just best to turn the person/ offer down. Otherwise, the discussion can drag on and on.

6. “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?” Again, sometimes it is best to say you’re the wrong person to help. If possible, refer them to a lead they can follow up on instead.

7. “No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say no.

Online Counselling College (Source: Zen Habits(Abridged)

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Just Keep Shining

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Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren’t your problems. You stay kind, committed to love and free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don’t you doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep shining like you always do.
Scott Stabile

Photo via Under Parisian Skies