How To Deal With Insecurity In A Relationship

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1. Take control of your thought life and focus on the truth. A lot of people become insecure because they imagine things falling apart. Stop imaging your partner being untrue to you or becoming interested in someone else. Don’t let your fears create a false reality.

2. Let the relationship follow its own course. Allow yourself and your partner to simply be yourselves and to only commit what each is ready to commit. A good relationship is based on understanding and respect.

3. Don’t give into the urge to snoop around. Don’t start acting in ways that make you seem suspicious or lacking in trust. That will only undermine your relationship.

4. Focus on being positive. Instead of using your energy on feeling insecure, putting yourself down or thinking of “what ifs”, try and think about the happy, good experiences you’ve shared together.

5. Don’t compare yourself with others. We all have different strengths, personalities and gifts. Be proud of who you are – you are special and unique.

6. Don’t compare this relationship to previous relationships. Even when things have gone wrong in a past relationship, it doesn’t mean this partner is going to treat you badly. It’s a new chapter now – give your partner a fair chance.

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7 Childhood Issues that Affect our Later Relationships

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1. Threats and fear of abandonment. These can lead to jealousy and feelings of insecurity.

2. Lack of emotional nurturing. This can lead to feelings of emotional deprivation which can feel like a bottomless pit to fill.

3. Growing up with feelings of entitlement. This can lead to feeling as if you don’t have to live by the same rules as others as you are special and a bit superior.

4. Being told that you’re inferior or inadequate. This causes you feel like you’re never good enough.

5. The demand to be perfect and to always get things right. This can leading to being driven and having incredibly high standards.

6. Being betrayed by those you trusted so that you won’t trust now, and you can’t get close to others or let them get close to you.

7. Being raised in a way that your needs were denied, not allowed, disregarded, trivialised or ignored. This can lead to a doormat type of personality where other people matter and your needs never count.

Online Counselling College

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Talk About Things That Upset You

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In a healthy, close relationship of any kind, when something upsets you, you need to bring it up. As soon as possible, even. Cultivate an environment in which you both can talk about things that upset you, with the utmost attention to everyone’s feelings. It’s a really simple thing to do but it’s a thing I’ve been working on for a while and I’m getting actual nice things happening as a result.

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How To Protect Yourself From Negative Energy

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· Awareness: Recognize when the emotions that you feel belong to someone else. If your spouse is angry, identify that emotion and acknowledge it, but remind yourself that it is their anger, not yours.
· Self-love: Protect yourself from psychological attacks by loving yourself more than your attacker. You do not deserve abuse.
· Visualize a shield: Visualize your glowing white aura expanding to surround your body in a protective zone that cannot be invaded by others. See the aura as a white bubble that can flex, but never burst.


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Don’t Take Anything Personally

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Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements

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