Emotional Abuse

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The following are associated with emotional abuse:

  • Withholding love, affection and attention
  • Threatening the individual
  • Abandoning, or threatening abandonment
  • Fits of anger and rage
  • Engaging in chronic deceit
  • Criticizing, belittling, ridiculing or demeaning the individual
  • Negatively labelling the person
  • Controlling their life and ordering them around
  • Minimizing their opinions, and ignoring the person’s wishes, needs and preferences
  • Gaslighting, and denying the individual’s reality
  • Isolating the person from their family and friends

Online Counselling College

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How To Deal With A Narcissist

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1. Don’t expect empathy, understanding, praise or recognition from a narcissistic person. Keep your private thoughts and feelings close to your heart, and don’t open up and make yourself vulnerable.

2. Expect them to be rude and to say offensive things.

3. Don’t be offended by the things they say and do as it’s not about you – they treat others the same way.

4. Make a lot of their achievements known and praise them publicly as they’re always looking to be noticed and affirmed.

5. Don’t try to get a narcissist to see things differently as they’re not going to change or be influenced by you.

6. Understand that a narcissist is going to drain you dry and will guilt you into thinking that you haven’t done enough. However, it’s actually not true; they just can’t be satisfied.

7. Don’t push for a meaningful relationship with them as it will always be one-sided; look for love from someone else.

Online Counselling College

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How To Help A Friend Or Family Member With Depression

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Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to a loved one about depression. You might fear that if you bring up your worries he or she will get angry, feel insulted or ignore your concerns. You may be unsure what questions to ask or how to be supportive.

If you don’t know where to start, the following suggestions may help. But remember that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. Encourage the depressed person to talk about his or her feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment. And don’t expect a single conversation to be the end of it. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be gentle, yet persistent.

Ways to start the conversation:

  • I have been feeling concerned about you lately.
  • Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.
  • I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed pretty down lately.

Questions you can ask:

  • When did you begin feeling like this?
  • Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?
  • How can I best support you right now?
  • Do you ever feel so bad that you don’t want to be anymore?
  • Have you thought about getting help?

Remember, being supportive involves offering encouragement and hope. Very often, this is a matter of talking to the person in language that he or she will understand and respond to while in a depressed mind frame.

What you can say that helps:

  • You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.
  • I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.
  • When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold on for just one more day, hour, minute — whatever you can manage.
  • You are important to me. Your life is important to me.
  • Tell me what I can do now to help you.

Avoid saying:

  • It’s all in your head.
  • We all go through times like this.
  • Look on the bright side.
  • You have so much to live for. Why do you want to die?
  • I can’t do anything about your situation.
  • Just snap out of it.
  • What’s wrong with you?
  • Shouldn’t you be better by now?

Online Counselling College

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Know When To Stop

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If you are a giver and you have a big heart, to be truly happy in life, you must learn when to let go. Naturally, you’re going to care when you shouldn’t, you’re going to stay longer than you should and you’re going to give when you have nothing. Know when to stop and let things be.
Sylvester McNutt III

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