Leave The Pieces And Move On

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You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months overanalysing a situation, trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move on.
Tupac Shakur

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The Plight Of Instagram

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Feeling fired up and inspired to write about the plight of social media, namely Instagram.

Yes, IG is a fantastic platform for business promotion and yes, I love that I can use IG to get my message about sex out to literally 1000’s of people (with the intention of empowering more and more people globally to live a sexually free, expressive and authentic life).

However, the main issues I have with Instagram are this:

1. People are relying on IG followers and IG ‘likes’ to boost their self-worth (this is downright sad and I fucking hate that this is the world that my daughter will one day be exposed to — by one day, I mean NO TIME SOON, because in my opinion NO 12-year-old child should be allowed Instagram).

Relying on IG for self-worth means people are spending huge amounts of time snapping a million photos of themselves before they ‘get the shot’ — the final product being ridiculously filtered, highly posed images that are not a true and authentic representation of their real life.

2. Spending all the time that we do (myself included — this is definitely a work in progress for me) means that we are spending less and less time with REAL, AUTHENTIC humans, experiencing REAL, AUTHENTIC connection and intimacy. Couples in particular are connecting less than they ever have, instead trading in quality time for time scrolling through their phone. Often whilst in bed. Urggggggg. If anything will kill your sex life, THAT will.

I could go on and on about this topic, but I won’t, mainly ‘cos I want you off your phone and in real life instead. However here’s some practical tips on how NOT to get caught up in the fake, pretend world that IG is.

  • No phones in bedrooms, EVER.
  • Stop spending your whole weekend snapping photos and practice PRESENCE. Presence with YOURSELF, presence with your loved ones. This goes for parents; stop trying to take cute snaps of your kids and instead use all your spare time to genuinely CONNECT with their hearts.
  • Unfollow bullshit accounts and friends who don’t make your feed feel uplifting, inspiring and full of high vibrational content.
    My new personal rule is to follow no more than 100 accounts at any time. This meant a shameless spring clean of who I follow. Highly recommended.
  • Work on your self-worth and prioritise authentic self-love. This is the key to true happiness and authentic connection within intimate relationships.

Good luck! Now stop scrolling and go do something meaningful with your day.

Juliet Allen

Photo via Briqou

Qualities Of A Winning Personality

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1. Exhibit integrity. A person is said to have integrity if what they say and what they do are rooted in the same set of core values.

2. Don’t speak badly of others. If you speak badly about others to a friend, chances are you’ll also speak badly about them. Hence, they are likely to be hesitant in what they share with you.

3. Be an optimist. This doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand; it means choosing not to dwell on the negatives and actively looking for the positives.

4. Make the effort to be helpful. Life is so much sweeter if you’re thoughtful and kind – and we rarely forget someone who’s caring and warm.

5. Set some goals and have some ambition. This is an extremely contagious quality. Not only will you achieve higher goals for yourself, you’ll give hope to others and inspire them to try.

6. Seek to be compassionate and understanding. All of us face battles and experience hard times. Empathising with others when life is tough helps to ease their burden and renew their inner spark.

7. Believe in, love and respect yourself. If you don’t accept, respect and love yourself, then you’ll send out vibes that you’re inadequate. However, it you love, believe in and treat yourself well then it’s likely that others will treat you that way, too.

8. Persist until you succeed. Although ambition is important, it is not enough. You have to persevere if you’re going to succeed. When you stumble or fall down, get up and start again. Keep on going until you finally succeed.

9. Be open-minded and willing to learn. If you’re closed-minded and set in your ways then you’ll never discover a different, better way and close yourself off to other possibilities.

10. Take responsibility for your life. Blaming others for your problems or acting like a victim won’t help you to move forward and have the life you want. Take control of your destiny. Success is up to you.

Online Counselling College

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Listen To What Your Body Is Telling You

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  • When you feel overwhelmed – it’s a sign that you need to to take a break, make more time for self-care or change up the way you’re tackling your responsibilities.
  • When you feel depressed – it’s a sign that you’re in a situation that feels hopeless and you’re lacking in the resources necessary to successfully navigate your struggle and feel in control of your environment.
  • When you’re still having a reaction to something upsetting that happened a long time ago – it means that you need to do more work processing that trauma/struggle and that you need more effective coping mechanisms.
  • When you feel anxious about something – it means you haven’t yet acquired the experience and evidence necessary to show you that you can do this thing and be okay. It DOESN’T mean you’ll never get that evidence or that you’ll struggle forever – just that this is where you are right now.

You don’t need to beat yourself up. And you don’t have to feel ashamed. You just have listen; listen to what your body is telling you and use that information to help you grow and navigate the world in a way that feels best for you.

You aren’t failing and you aren’t inadequate – you’re just collecting information. Your information is allowed to look different than other people’s. No matter what anyone else feels, your emotions are important and your experience is valid.

Internal Acceptance Movement

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