How To Deal With Painful Feelings Of Rejection

Feelings are a lot of work.

1. Talk about your feelings with someone you trust and accepts you unconditionally.

2. Make a list of all your positive traits. Include all the good things that you see in yourself and everything that others have mentioned in the past. Make sure the list is detailed and very, very long!

3. Recognise that rejection says nothing about you. It is one specific person or one relationship. Don’t allow that to define you as a total individual. There’s so much more to you than that one aspect of your life.

4. Do something you enjoy. Take your mind off feeling lonely or feeling like a failure by choosing to do something that you usually enjoy (listening to music, going to the movies, calling up a friend, reading a book etc).

5. Treat yourself to something special, like a new pair of jeans. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out a temporary boost. It can help you get past this moment so you can find the strength you need to pick up all the pieces and build your life again.

6. Do something physical, like going for a run. It’s a great way to channel energy. Also, exercise has been shown to be a natural mood enhancer.

7. Remember, not everyone will think you’re fabulous. That is just a part of being human; we’re all different from each other. Accept and value your own uniqueness, your qualities, your strengths and your personality.

8. Remember that “this too will pass”. We all encounter various bumps along the way. It feels bad in the moment, but in time our feelings will change.

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7 Contributors To Happiness

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1. Have a good core group of friends.

2. Build some adventure into your life. Don’t fall into “the same old, same old”.

3. Research confirms that “stuff won’t make us happy,” so clear out the junk and only keep what you love.

4. Work on establishing balance in your life. Don’t be too busy or you’ll wind up depressed.

5. Give in to temptation every now and again. Too much discipline is boring in the end.

6. Like and appreciate yourself. Take time to notice and affirm your strengths.

7. Start living in the moment – don’t doubt every move. Accept your decision as the best one right now.

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When You’re Fighting Depression…

Slow down

1. Remind yourself that thoughts and feelings aren’t facts. Often we think extreme and negative things which are not completely true in reality. Try to get perspective and be more balanced – and try to counteract accusing, negative thoughts.

2. Be patient, understanding and gentle with yourself. When you’re fighting depression or are feeling overwhelmed, that uses up a lot of your energy. Accept that today is going to be harder and put fewer expectations and demands upon yourself.

3. Do one small thing as it will help you to get moving and feel more hopeful as you see yourself making some progress. Also, keeping yourself busy will interrupt your thinking and will help stop your feelings from getting even worse.

4. Although it’s not usually helpful to isolate ourselves, be wise in the people that you choose to be around. If other people are too happy or too harsh and critical, it will compound your feelings of negativity. Instead, try and spend time with people who are gentle and calm and who help you feel accepted and more positive.

5. Remember that tomorrow could be a better day. You just need to find the energy to make it through today.

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The Difference Between ‘I Like You’ And ‘I Love You’

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What is the difference between ‘I like you’ and ‘I love you? Beautifully answered by the Buddha: ‘When you like a flower you just pluck it; when you love a flower you water it daily.’ The one who understands this understands life.
Unknown

Go and love someone exactly as they are. Then, watch how they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, one is instantly empowered.
Wes Angelozzi

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Take It Day By Day

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Anxiety happens when you think you have to figure out everything all at once. Breathe. You’re strong. You’ve got this. Take it day by day.
Karen Salmansohn

People heal at different rates. People grow at different rates. I know it hurts to feel like you’re missing out, but it’s okay. Take your time.
Broken Smoulders

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How To Support A Depressed Friend

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1. Find out the kind of depression they are suffering from. Symptoms of clinical depression include sleep difficulties, loss of appetite, a desire to isolate themselves, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, suicidal tendencies and an inability to determine the cause of their depression. Those with situational depression may have some of the same symptoms but they generally know why they feel as they do, and once the issue is resolved, they are able to function normally again.

2. Be available to listen or just be there for them. Sometimes you don’t need to say a word. Don’t offer opinions or advice; don’t judge them; be patient and understanding; be empathetic, gentle and compassionate.

3. Take them out of their environment as a change of scenery can help to change their mood. It doesn’t have to be wildly exciting – just a walk by the river or a coffee at the mall is often enough to shift things a bit.

4. Don’t comment on their lifestyle (habits and patterns). Comments like “You ought to try and sleep more or change your diet or exercise more” are likely to shut the person down. These are often beyond the person’s control. They are symptoms of depression and not the actual cause.

5. Encourage your friend to seek professional help. A friend or family member can be a real lifeline but objective support from a professional counsellor can help them deal with the cause in a more effective way.

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