Creating healthy boundaries is about putting your health (spiritually, physically and emotionally) first. It’s saying no, this is not right for me. It’s moving away from people, places and situations that steal your peace. Audrey Kitching
It is often possible to manage anxiety by actively replacing irrational thoughts with more balanced and reasonable thoughts like the following:
1. I’m going to be OK. Sometimes my feelings are irrational and false. I’m just going to relax and take things easy. Everything is going to be fine.
2. Anxiety may feel bad but it isn’t dangerous. There’s nothing wrong with me. Everything is going to be OK.
3. Feelings come and feelings go. Right now I feel bad but I know this is only temporary. I’ve done it before so I can do it again.
4. This image in my head isn’t reasonable or rational. I need to change my thinking and focus my attention on something that’s healthier and generally helps me to feel good about myself. For example _____________.
5. I’ve managed to interrupt and change these thoughts before, so I know I can do it again. The more I practise this, the easier it will become. Anxiety is a habit – and it’s a habit that I can break.
6. So what if I’m anxious? It’s not the end of the world. It’s not going to kill me. I just need to take a few deep breaths and keep going.
7. Just take the next step. Just do the next thing.
8. Even if I have to put up with a period of anxiety, I’ll be glad that I did, persevered and succeeded.
9. I can feel anxious and still do a good job. The more I focus on the task at hand, the more my anxiety will ease, then disappear.
10. Anxiety doesn’t have a hold on me. It’s something I’m working on and changing over time.
When I’m tired, I rest. I used to keep pushing. I used to push harder. But now I understand that being tired is just your body and mind begging for a little time to recuperate and there’s no glory in denying it to yourself. Good Things Are Waiting
When you’re feeling overwhelmed with your sadness and loss, it’s hard to believe that your life will ever change or you’ll ever be able to smile or laugh again. But the truth is, you will – it won’t always be this bad – and there are things you can do to help move on with your life:
1. Decide to face your pain. An unresolved past never really goes away. You may think you have buried your anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface later on. If you don’t face what happened and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being ruled by your subconscious mind. So, try and find the courage to revisit the pain.
2. Accept there’s nothing you can do to change the past. What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time or to rewrite the story so that the ending’s happier. But, you can change how you think, start over again and build a different future that’s not poisoned by the past.
3. Be grateful for the good times. There’s usually something good that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to pretend that everything was bad or write off any good times and happy memories.
4. Consciously let go and set your focus on the future. Don’t let the baggage or the failures of the past affect your identity or self-esteem. You are NOT what you did or how you acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your future; you control your destiny.
5. Remove your past from your future. We all have a tendency to think that the past will morph into our future and become our lot in life. But that doesn’t have to happen. The future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations and work towards those goals. Look hard for the exceptions – the times when things went right – and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those same strengths, skills and great qualities.
6. Be realistic and take small steps at first. You can’t snap your fingers and find that life has changed. Accept it will take time and you will still have some bad days – but if you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.