Amy Poehler once said, “Continue to share your heart with people even if it’s broken.” Today I’m going to do just that.
A while back some of you may have read that I was in a new relationship with someone special. About three months into it, I felt him become distant which, to my surprise, turned me into an emotional and crying wreck. After I confronted him about it, it turned out I wasn’t crazy after all. He had been distant, he said, because he knew I was going to be traveling for a year soon. He said he wanted to be realistic about our relationship, and maybe he wanted something different after all.
Of course, this broke my heart. Not only because I had invested so much time, effort and love into this relationship, but also because I saw a future with him. That’s what hurts the most, I think – the could of been, should have been mentality after a breakup. I believe I could have fallen in love with this man, and in a way I am relieved that he broke it off simply because I wouldn’t have had the courage to do it myself.
I have been grieving and reflecting on this breakup lately, and though I feel sad, I have also never been more sure of the direction my life is heading. There was no way a man was going to hold me back from traveling the world because I love and dream of it more than I love and dream of anything else in my life right now. I have a friend who is much older than me who told me that she wished she travelled when she was my age instead of marrying her ex-husband. She said that she was in love with him and that held her back from going to university and seeing the world. She told me that what I was doing was the right thing. Hearing that gives me so much hope and makes me more determined than ever to achieve my dream of traveling the world this year.
So, when my friend asked me how I was doing post-breakup, I told her this, “I still have amazing friends and a whole life of dreams and travelling and adventuring to do. There’s so many people to meet and so many places to see, so I’m going to let go of what’s not meant to be and look forward to a life full of hope. With or without him, I’ll be okay.”
That’s my word of encouragement and hope for all my girls out there who are true seekers in life. If you ever come across a fork in the road and are caught deciding between him or you, choose you. Refuse to be a secondary character in your own story. If you are ever caught deciding between staying and going, go. And if you are ever caught deciding between leading an ordinary life and an extraordinary life, no matter the sacrifice, always, always choose the extraordinary.
Because I believe when you choose those things, that leaves very little room for a life of regret and more room for a live lived to the full.