“No, it won’t all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good.”
Some people see life like a deck of cards and what you get dealt in life is random chance.
Some see life like a roller-coaster, a thrilling, reckless ride that will end someday soon. Some see life like a game where climbing over people is the only way to get to the top. I see life as a journey on a mountain. The best, most breath-taking views are at the top where the path is narrow, but not many people have the courage or strength to venture there. That’s what makes life so exciting for me, is that possibility that when you take risks and brave the unknown, you will suddenly turn a corner and experience something so beautiful that it will change your whole life.
Recently, I was at a point in my journey where I stopped and completely broke down. Looking back, the path I had chose to take was not an easy one. It was narrow and dangerous, full of tight corners and uneven roads. I was weathered, yet it felt like so many people had been blessed with a wider and less difficult path and got further ahead of me because of it. I looked at the life I was living and who I had become, and I couldn’t help but spiral down in defeat. I have tried so hard and struggled for so long to get myself up out of this bog of fear, sadness and bitterness from being a part of my broken family, from being a part of this world, and I thought I was on a path to healing. That day, everything crashed down and I wondered if I was ever truly happy. If I was only kidding myself and telling everyone I was happy with such conviction when even I detected cynicism in my voice.
I was disappointed in my family – gamblers, thieves, abusers, liars and money-greedy, afraid for the life of me that I was becoming one of them, but most of all, I was defeated that despite how far I had come, I also had very far to go. I was sitting on the side of my path, a weary traveler, looking up above me and coming to realize that I wasn’t even close to the top of my mountain. It was the most frustrating thing, thinking that you’re finally on a road to healing and happiness, then turning a corner and realizing you have further to go than you thought.
In all truth, I wanted to tell God to give me a break. “You have given me a broken start in life. You know the storms I’ve weathered. Can’t you make things a little easier on me?” Instead, I called out to God, my anchor of hope, and He answered me through ways and people that told me this: That it’s okay to rest along your journey. Stop and look how far you’ve come. God has brought you this far and He will not fail you now, nor ever. And remember when things get hard and hopeless, that there is a grace and a love surrounding you as you walk that can carry all your weariness and pain.
Telling my good friend all of this, she replied back with the most encouraging words: “I wanted to say to you that when it seems like it’s the hardest… that’s usually when you are closest to a revelation. Just like the last steps are the hardest before reaching the top. Always remember that the view from the top is always worth it.
Know that it is perfectly okay to struggle from time to time on this path. We must remember that the path we have chosen to take is the narrow and harder one, but with harvest and views so much more worth it than the one of the easier path. When I question what I’m doing and if this is worth it or right, I kind of just give in and realize that… God built me for this, and you for this. That there is no other place that is more right than where we are now.”
The journey for a lot of us is hard. There will be times where we will stumble and fall, times of hardship and mourning. There will be times when difficult decisions and sacrifices will have to be made. There will be moments when someone you love will hurt you, and your heart and trust will shatter. There will be moments where we will find ourselves lost, confused about which way to go. And of course, there will be moments where we will feel weary and defeated, alone and scared. It’s times like these we may question our journey or wonder if we were supposed to be there in the first place. But trust your journey. Trust that, though there is a long way to go, when you put one foot in front of the other, one day you will look back and see how far you’ve come. Trust the light ahead of you that is guiding you forward. And when you feel alone, learn to hear your heartbeat, steady and sure to get you home.
I close my eyes and I see the path that I am walking on. But instead of looking for a summit, I am looking ahead, knowing that at the end of the journey there will be arms to beckon me Home – and that’s what I will keep walking toward.
“You have come so far, you have conquered mountains and valleys. You may feel weary now, so rest traveler, rest and know that when you have reached home, there is going to be real rest and joy, real peace and comfort, your tears will be wiped away and your burden taken off. You are so brave to wake up every morning, so full of courage when you make the choice to take a step and then another. May your feet always lead you to wonderful places, and your heart beat with a strength that only you can hold.
Keep walking, weary traveler, never go back; for the path that lays ahead is full of beautiful unknowns and wonderful secrets that yearn for you to discover and love. Keep walking, and know that you are walking a path that is good for you.”
T.B. LaBerge, Weary Traveler