Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; but eventually it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hand inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past – the memories – and make peace with them.
The life in front of you is way more important than the life behind you.
I learned something eye opening today. Oftentimes, we don’t forgive the past because it has become a part of our identity. If we forgive, we lose that part of ourselves and become vulnerable, lost. That past experience made us who we are and we are afraid to let it go – but at a great cost. We lose our ability to move forward, to live in the present and to open ourselves to new and better experiences.
There has been something in my past that has been a struggle for five years to let go of. It has been a shard of my past that I keep running back to and cutting myself on. Forgiveness and letting go is a process. An unnatural, difficult one. But I hope you and I can keep moving forward all the while making peace with our past, no matter how long it takes us, no matter how many times we have to gently tell ourselves to let it go. There’s hope for a better life ahead. I know it.